When Life Gets Heavy: Caring for Tatay Through Stage 4 Prostate Cancer

Back in early 2022, around April, my grandfather started having trouble urinating. He kept complaining, and we thought it was just a urinary tract infection since he was still working as a barker at that time.

Then in May 2022, during the fiesta sa Sapangbato, he came home drunk pero ramdam pa rin niya yung discomfort sa pag-ihi. That’s when we decided na magpacheck-up na talaga, kasi hirap na hirap na siyang umihi. The doctors requested an ultrasound and blood tests, and they put a catheter to relieve the pain. The ultrasound showed na swollen ang prostate niya, so the doctor gave him medications for one month. Every week, balik kami sa hospital for catheter replacement.

But after a month, wala pa ring improvement. The doctor then referred us to a prostate specialist, so we went to a government hospital. The doctor asked for more tests, including a PSA test. Ilang buwan din kaming pabalik-balik hanggang lumabas ang result—mataas ang PSA, meaning possible cancer.

He was scheduled for a laser operation to remove the blockage in his prostate. December 2022, right before Christmas, the surgery went well. Nakaihi na siya normally, but the biopsy result wasn’t good—Prostate Adenocarcinoma.

We consulted a private doctor for treatment options, like chemo. They requested a bone scan to check spread, di masyadong clear yung result. Then they asked for CT scans. By this time, baon na kami sa utang—kahit libre yung operation, the meds and tests in private hospitals were not.

The doctor recommended another surgery—removal of his testicles—but 100k my grandfather refused since wala na raw siyang nararamdaman. We tried to convince him, pero matigas ulo niya and he insisted not to continue.

Fast forward two years after the operation, bigla siyang pumayat nang sobra. Ayaw niya rin inumin yung mga gamot niya. He kept getting sick, pabalik-balik kami sa hospital. We even decided to sell our house, hoping a fresh start might help, but things got worse. Eventually, hindi na siya makalakad. Tests showed the cancer had already spread to his lungs, liver, and bones—stage 4 prostate cancer.

During all this, I lost my job. Lahat ng bigat—gastusin, pag-aalaga, utang—nasa balikat namin. There were days I felt like giving up because everything was falling apart: no work, debts piling up, no house, and my grandfather’s condition worsening.

He’s now scheduled for chemo every 23 days, pero lumalala pa rin siya. Even his mental health is affected because he’s stuck in bed and can’t go out. He keeps asking to go back to Sapangbato, but with his condition, we’re not sure if kakayanin niya pa.

On top of that, both of his other children are missing in action. So it’s just my mother, my brother, and me, taking care of him and carrying all the expenses. We’re not complaining—but sometimes, I can’t help feeling that life is really unfair.